Once upon a time, long long ago, there lived a native American Indian tribe on a piece of land. One day another tribe came to the area and asked the resident tribe if they could live beside them.
“We have plenty of space,” the resident tribal elders said. “Why not?”
So the new tribe settled down and the two tribes began to live side by side.
One day, a young man from the new tribe killed a dog belonging to the resident tribe. The resident tribal elders sat down to discuss what to do.
“They killed one of our dogs, let’s kill one of theirs in response,” suggested one.
“But they are our neighbours,” replied one.
“We don’t want to escalate the situation,” said another.
“Let us be patient in order to keep the peace, ” said one.
“It was only a dog,” said another.
So the resident tribe decided not to do anything about it.
A few weeks after the dog was killed, a man from the new tribe kidnapped a woman from the resident tribe and violated her.
“Had we killed one of their dogs when they killed our dog, they would never have touched this woman,” said the same resident tribal elder who had suggested that the tribe should have responded after the first incident.
The elders now realised their mistake. So they killed a dog from the new tribe and they killed the rapist. The new tribe never bothered the resident tribe again.
12 days ago, on 28 September 2016, Asad Khan, an 11 year old boy from Bradford, northern England, hanged himself after being bulled at his new school. In a statement issued after his death, she wrote:
“Asad, my eldest child, my everything. He was my greatest strength and support. He was no ordinary child, he was very bright for his age, he was sensitive, loving and a very lively child…”
Bullying is one of the most difficult dilemmas that a person can face in their life. It is a dilemma because there is no easy way out.
Either you do nothing, and allow yourself to be imprisoned by fear of the bully. Or you stand up to the bully and risk getting hurt in the process. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
It is not only children that are victims of bullying. Women married to abusive husbands are victims of bullying. Foreigners new to a country are bullied by locals. Junior members of staff are bulled by senior members of staff.
I found three characteristics common to bullies:
- A bully can only exist when no-one stands up to him.
- No bully considers himself a bully.
- If you call a bully’s bluff, he crumbles, i.e. when you stand up to a bully, you find that he is just an insecure coward.
A few years ago, the 8 year old son of a friend was getting bullied on the schoolbus. The bully was bigger and bulkier than this boy.
His father did everything he could to stop the bullying. He spoke to the school headmaster, he spoke to the teachers, he even spoke to the bus driver. But nothing happened. Things only got worse.
One evening his son came home with a mark on his face where the bully had kicked him. The kick had just missed the boy’s eye. The father had had enough. He told his son,
“Tomorrow, when you see the bully, I want you to go up to him, take his glasses off, throw them on the floor and stamp on them until they break.”
So next day the son obeyed his father.
Almost immediately, the school phoned the father and asked him to come in to see the headteacher. The father of the bully was there. My friend simply told the headteacher that he asked his son to act because no-one had done anything to stop the bully.
“I am not going to wait for my son to lose an eye before someone does something about it,” the father said.
The bully was moved to another bus (there had been other complaints about him too) and the boy was never bullied again.
One of the most common phrases that I heard in prison was, “Don’t let anyone take your kindness for weakness.”
There are some who believe that not standing up to someone who bullies you or does you harm is some sort of divine act of worship that pleases God. This is a lie against God. No God asks His servants to tolerate those who do harm to them.
“Indeed He does not love the oppressors,” is a verse that comes not only in The Quran, but also The Bible, numerous times.
When white Christian slavemasters raped, tortured and mutilated the black slaves that they had kidnapped, they taught them that if they were patient then Jesus (pbuh) would be happy with them. By saying this, the slavemasters lied against God, lied against Jesus (pbuh) and lied against The Bible.
Men who batter their wives then justify their beatings by saying that God orders them to do this are not only bullies, they are liars as well. They lie against God and they lie against His Prophet (pbuh), who never raised a finger against a woman in his entire life.
So, whether you are being bullied at home, at school, in your workplace, on the street… be brave enough to stand up to the bully.
Yes, you might get hurt in the process, you might get in trouble, but you will get your life back and the bullying will stop.
And if you are a bully, stop now. Otherwise God will stop you Himself because God always sides with the victims. Not the bullies..
“I request everyone to stand up against bullying, no child deserves to be mistreated. It is a serious issue and many are a victim of it. Today it is my child, tomorrow it could be one of yours…” was the message that Asad Khan’s mother had to say after she lost her son to bullying.
Have you ever stood up to a bully? Share your stories below.
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